I have been inspired by a wonderful friend that has lost a lot of weight recently. So, this morning I did something I haven’t really done in a while – I started walking again. I know I won’t lose a lot of weight this way, but it gets me up and moving. I’m praying that my energy levels get higher and that I feel lots better.

Wish me luck ’cause here I go again with losing weight….

Just an update for this school year. In August all the kids started a new elementary school. In a way, this was a good thing for Ryan. It is showing him that while everyone knows him and his story, they were not personally involved with it. So – he is learning while he is a special kid he is not always going to get special treatment. Bryce and Deanna have settled into the new school as well. Both boys wish they were back at the old school, but they have lots of new friends here.

In September, Ryan had his gall bladder removed. I know – how many have heard of a boy having that removed? And while it was being removed, he had another problem stopped (the tumors had pushed his intestines up and they didn’t fall back down). While fixing this, a bruise formed on them and instead of being in the hospital for 24 hours, he was there for 5 days. While there, we meet a 12-year-old boy named Hunter that had just been diagnosed with T-cell lymphoma. Please be in prayer for him and his mother and brother – they have a 2 year road ahead of them.

Also, please pray for Melindy Barrett (and I hope I spelled her name correctly). She is 30-year-old mother of 3 (oldest is Ryan’s age) and she is battling colon cancer. She is doing treatments – so please pray that everything will be fine and her children will have her around for more years.

Xavian Hall (the little baby boy that had a cancerous brain tumor the same time Ryan battled his cancer) just celebrated his second birthday! PRAISE GOD!

Also, in September, I was asked to talk at the Relay for Life Summit meeting here in Jackson, MS (while Ryan was in the hospital). It was hard going there and talking to everyone, but in the end I’m glad I got to go. My speech was from the caregiver’s point of view and after the break, I will post the speech.

No amount of words can express the love that my entire family felt during Ryan’s cancer. I am so thankful for each and every one of you – more than you will know. May God bless you all!

“Ryan has tumors. There are twelve to fourteen of them in his abdominal region – the longest being nine centimeters. And we don’t know what’s caused it.” The faithful words that changed my family’s life. On Saturday, my eight-year-old son had been in the backyard with Troy, my husband, throwing baseball and acting like a normal boy his age. Two days later, on Monday, he is in the hospital getting an emergency CT-scan on his stomach because it was swelling and quite frankly he looked like a pregnant woman. Tuesday (February 3, 2009) we get the results, and by 3:00 in the afternoon, Ryan is in PICU at Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital because his kidneys were failing. The doctors had an idea what we were dealing with – Burkitt’s Lymphoma. His pediatrician told us that if that was the diagnose and if treatments didn’t starts soon, Ryan might not make it through the weekend. He told us that we should encourage our family from TN to come. Words that no parent wants to hear – your son might die.

One of the hardest phone calls to make that day was to my mother. Telling her that Ryan had tumors and that we didn’t know what was going to happen next was extremely hard. Then calling her and letting her know that he had cancer and knowing that she wouldn’t be able to finish that day at work tore me up. I can’t tell you how Troy told his parents, but I know that by the time we had told our family in Tennessee and our church family at Trinity Presbyterian Church, word had spread about Ryan. That afternoon, a couple of Ryan’s former teachers were there and a lot of people from church. That Tuesday night, Troy and I had so many supporters in the PICU waiting room that no one else could use it. The love pouring from church family members was overwhelming. We didn’t ask for them to be there, but they felt the need to love us that night.

I have to mention that I had not, and probably never will again, see Troy crying the way he did that Tuesday. In fact, we both cried a lot those days. But while listening to Dr. Herrington discuss our options, I stopped while Troy continued. I not only listened to her words but the tone in which she delivered them.I was sure that we would get the treatments that Ryan needed here, but my heart broke every time I saw Troy break down and cry.

That night, Troy made me go home. I had dinner with a friend and she let me vent. I told her one of two things were going to happen. Either God would heal Ryan and use him for His glory or God would call him home. I had to be prepared either way. She later told me that she had no idea what to say because I spoke the truth. And during this time, Troy’s mother, aunt and uncle, sisters, and their children loaded up and drove down from Tennessee to be with us.

Another problem was telling our younger children, Bryce and Deanna. How do you tell a five-year-old boy and a four-year-girl that their older brother was sick and that he would be in the hospital for awhile? How do you explain that everyone’s life is going to change and that Mommy’s primary focus would be to help Ryan more than spending time with them? For that matter, how do you explain that they might lose him?

Also telling Ryan’s classmates and teachers at Flowood Elementary School was hard. Ms. O’Mire’s class was glad to hear from Ryan, but at the same time, none of them thought that Ryan would be so sick and possibly never come back. In fact, no one at that age ever expects to know someone with cancer.

The next day, Wednesday, Ryan is still in bad shape and his stomach is still expanding. The doctors were on hold as no baseline scans can be run while he is retaining fluids. That afternoon was the first time I heard him really talk since this started. He had a ten minute conversation with Mrs. Miele (his former second grade teacher). It did my heart good to hear this, but inside I was torn up. My son would tell me he was scared and he didn’t want to be there and he was hungry, but with Mrs. Miele he was talking about other things and trying to be somewhat upbeat. And one night Troy and I went to dinner while his mother stayed with Ryan at the hospital. I love my husband more than anyone knows, but being married to a geek can be a challenge. His way of coping was to read anything and everything about the situation he could. Troy started talking about statistics and things that I needed to know – things like life spans if Ryan beat the cancer and mortality rates because he had been researching Burkitt’s and if Ryan didn’t make it, what we would do. However I didn’t want to hear them. I knew that God would heal my son. If that healing meant that He would call Ryan home, then I would have to be okay with that. But for some reason, after listening to Dr. Herrington talk about treatments and such, I knew that God would heal him and that Ryan’s life would be used for His glory. And I’m sure that the restaurant workers that night thought we were nuts arguing like we were. But I did understand what Troy was trying to do – he was trying to prepare me (and himself) for the worst case scenario.

Over the next couple of days, Ryan has a biopsy performed as well as having a chem-port and a dialysis port put in. On Thursday – February 5 – we get the results and yes, Ryan has Burkitt’s – a rare form of Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. This kind of cancer has the ability to double in size every 24-hours. By the time we started chemo on February 6, his stomach had reached a circumference of 84 centimeters – 10 inches larger than just 3 days ago. On Sunday they had to run a dialysis because his potassium level was reaching critical levels. And the whole time Troy and I were posting everything on our blog. This way we didn’t have to make a million phone calls and worry about getting something wrong. We didn’t have to worry about leaving the PICU to take or make a call – we could just focus on him.

And during all that I could feel the prayers being answered. A spinal tap revealed that the cancer was not in or around his brain and a bone marrow test told us the same thing. The only thing we did know about the cancer was that was in Stage 3 – meaning that organs were involved. The doctors told us that we could go to St. Jude’s for treatments, but they were not sure if Ryan would survive the trip. They told us about the information sharing between hospitals and that we would receive the benefit of lots of doctors seeing his case, so we stayed. Once chemo started, Ryan’s kidneys started working and the swelling in his stomach started going down. Because the cancer was so advanced, Ryan stayed in the hospital for 35 days the first time. That meant he didn’t go to school but I did have his work and he really did try to do it. But the chemo made him sick and he really didn’t want to do much. However, because we didn’t have cable television at home, Ryan really loved watching TV from the hospital – I knew all about most shows on the Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, and Nick.

My days, our “new normal” as we called it, were as follows – I would get up and get our younger two children out the door (one to school and one to preschool). By 8:30 I was at the hospital so Troy could go to work. Someone from our church would bring lunch by for me while Ryan was stuck with hospital food. Troy would come to the hospital after work the following day to spend the night. I would not return home until 6:30 or so at night. Considering I quit my job in 2000 to be a stay-at-home mother, I had to do something I didn’t want to do – I had to put Bryce and Deanna into an after-school program. And neither one of them liked it after the first week. When it was my night at home, I would try to do something special with them. If they wanted to watch a movie, we would. If they wanted to spend the night with some friends of ours, they would. I didn’t want them to think I loved them less than Ryan, but keeping that from happening was extremely hard.

When Ryan got out of the hospital after the first long stay, it was a cause for celebration. We knew that he didn’t have an immune system because the chemo had taken care of that, but we also wanted him to do some things he wanted to do. And the first place Ryan wanted to go was to Flowood Elementary School to see everyone there. Of course we took precautions – Ryan had to wear a mask while we told his classmates they had to stay back. Everyone at the school was so glad to see him. And so our routine continued – hospital, home, hospital, home. Any time he got released, he would want to see his classmates or go to a baseball game. So that’s what we did.

Somewhere during all this, I received a call from the American Cancer Society. They asked if Ryan would like to be an honorary chair of that year’s Relay for Life. We said yes, and it just so happened that Ryan was out of the hospital for a stint at home so we could go. He was still weak, but that was okay. He had his mask and a wheelchair, but he didn’t want to miss the relay. His classmates even raised enough money to get him a torch which he thought was cool.

The next thing after the Relay for Life was Camp Rainbow. Ryan had completed all his scheduled chemo and he really was looking forward to going. But considering that he had seen me everyday since the start of this walk and had been through so much, he didn’t stay the entire time. He did tell me all about his daily activities such as the Redneck Super Slide.

Here we are now over a year from the amazing “Remission” word. Ryan is back in school with the rest of the kids his age (thanks to his 3^rd grade teacher working with him all summer). He is playing baseball, in Cub Scouts, enjoys hunting and fishing, things you would expect from any other 10 year old. We are so thankful for the support of our family, church, Flowood Elementary, Candlelighters, the community, etc. This is a situation that no one wants to face at all and shouldn’t have face alone. The organizations that helped us were amazing. Now that cancer has touched our lives, we understand the need that they fill.

Both boys are playing baseball this spring and they are having fun at the fields. Ryan is in kid-pitch while Bryce is in coach-pitch. Deanna is just hanging out with me most of the time, but she has said she would like to go back into gymnastics. We’ll have to see about that.

But the best news we’ve had came this morning. We met with the surgery team and next Monday Ryan will be getting his port out. That’s right – the port will be removed Monday, April 12, 2010. PRAISE GOD! This means that the doctors think the cancer won’t be back.

After the appointment at the Cancer Clinic, it was decided to move the port removal to May 3. Next month marks the one year anniversary of Ryan’s last round of chemo, and he will have to get everything ran – LP, bone marrow extraction, scans, echo, the works. Instead of him being put to sleep this month AND next month, we decided to do it all at one time – bone marrow extraction, LP, and port removal. PRAISE GOD! We are so thankful that the port will be out and soon.

Other than that, we’ve been busy with baseball and scouts. Everyone have a blessed day!

And what did I learn from all of this? That God has His plan for our lives, and no matter what He is with us – guiding us and comforting us when we need it. Why God chose me to be one of his own and why he chose Ryan to go through this I will never know. But one thing is for certain: my faith has grown stronger because God was with us the entire time.

Ryan goes back on February 11 for scans (no LP/Bone Marrow extraction this time). This is part of life now, and I know that we will have to go back for scans and tests for the rest of his life – but God healed him and He will use this story to show His love for the world.

Thank all of you for the prayers and for reading this blog. While going through this, the blog helped voice our concerns and fears while the comments encouraged us everyday. May God bless each and everyone of you!

I’m not going to lie to everyone – I’m getting nervous. And I know that I shouldn’t, but I’m human. Around this time last year, Ryan started complaining of headaches. No, he hasn’t been complaining about them this year, but as a mother, I remember what happened last year, and I’m still nervous. The headaches started something I feel that no parent should have to go through – seeing their child fight for their life. I just hope that when February comes around this year, I can be more upbeat and not worry about what is going to happen. Ryan is a healthy, active, normal 9-year-old boy, and I’m so thankful for that.

An update that I haven’t shared on here (I think). Xavian Hall finished all of his chemo last November, and this month he had his central line remember. For more information, go to his website.

More to come later – it’s hard to remember to update this blog as I’m not in the hospital all the time anymore (which is a good thing).

Just a recap of the year 2009:

1/1/09 – receive word of Dad’s dementia

1/23/09 – receive word that Dad had a massive heart attack and travel to Tennessee that weekend

1/27/09 – Ryan calls from school complaining of a headache and is out from school for the rest of the week

2/2/09 – Ryan is admitted to Baptist Medical Center  for a CT scan of his stomach

2/3/09 – we find out Ryan has cancer and begin the three month process of getting rid of it

6/15/09 – Ryan was listed as in remission from cancer

8/10/09 – Ryan started the 4th grade

12/16/09 – Dorris Sullivan (Buddy) passes away after a long battle with his heart

12/21/09 – went to see my Dad and signed for medical power of attorney as the nurses say he is not mentally competent to make decisions

Well – that just about sums up the year. And I didn’t even list everything that happened. After we found out Ryan had cancer, I kept asking if I could wake up tomorrow and it be 2010. And in a few mores days, that will happen. I just pray that 2010 will be a year to remember and for better reasons.

I hope that everyone had a very Merry CHRISTmas and that everyone has a joyous New Year! God bless each and every one of you!

That being said, I received some horrible news today from our home state. My mother’s boyfriend, Doris, had been in poor health for years now. And before anyone asks, he is like a father to me. So much that my heart is breaking for him now. He is in Vanderbilt Hospital on a ventilator and under sedation. My mother says that he isn’t doing well at all. The doctors are going to let him rest today and tomorrow try to get some nutrients into his system to build up strength. The problem now is his kidneys have shutdown. At this point I don’t know if I will be leaving to go and visit or not. I haven’t decided and I will have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Please keep him and my mother in your prayers. As I can tell you, the power of prayer is something to behold.

You can view a slideshow of all the pictures by clicking here.

God Bless!

Now that I have that out of the way, I can get to the fun stuff: sharing Ryan’s Make-A-Wish and it coming true.

Ryan’s wish was to go on a Disney cruise. So on Friday, November 20, Ryan had a send off party with his class. People from Make-A-Wish and The Woman’s Hospital (his sponsor) were there. He received a goodie bag from Make-A-Wish, and all the boys enjoyed cupcakes as a snack. Then after that Ryan was escorted by “cheerleaders” (as the boys called them) all around the school. Everyone had a blast.

On Tuesday, November 24, we flew to Orlando, Florida to begin Ryan’s wish. We stayed at the airport in the hotel – which was weird but so much fun! The next day we took a bus from Orlando to the Disney Wonder. The first thing the kids wanted to do was swim in the Mickey pool. On Thursday, we woke up and we were in the Bahamas, man! It was great! The best part was the boat ride to the submarine. Our guide was so good – we learned what celebrities owned houses there and some we got to see. Deanna had her hair braided – so for now we call her “Bahama Mama”. (BTW: she doesn’t like the new nickname.) Friday was our day at sea and we got to see the Disney Magic. From what I’m told it is very rare that the sister ships see each other and it was a special treat for us. Saturday we were at the Disney private island called Castaway Cay. We rode bikes on the island and then we snorkeled. We even got to feed and swim with stingrays! Don’t freak out – they were fine to swim with. Even Deanna thought it was cool. That afternoon, Minnie Mouse hosted a special party for all the Make-A-Wish kids. It was so cool. And of course, all good things must come to an end – we came home on Sunday.

That was an over view – more after the break…

Some of the things we did to fill in the time were:

1. Wednesday night we got to watch the Golden Mickeys. It gives out awards to the best of the best. We got to see overviews of all our favorite shows and the kids loved it.
2. Thursday night we got to see Toy Story the musical. Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Mr. Potato Head, and the whole gang put on quite a show. (Side note: Bryce’s favorite character from this one was Sid. Go figure!)
3. Thursday night we had the chance to have a traditional Thanksgiving meal. It seemed weird to be out on a ship eating turkey, but it was wonderful to have the option.
4. Since we were at sea on Friday, we got to see A Christmas Carol in 3D. This version had Jim Carrey in it. It was great, but the last spirit scared Deanna and Bryce. If you can see it in 3D, DO!
5. Saturday night we got to see the number 1 rated cruise show: Disney Dreams. Peter Pan, Aladdin, Cinderella, Belle, the Beast, and even Tinker Bell made an appearance. It was awesome!
6. Because this was Ryan’s Make-A-Wish, he had something in his room everyday. He would receive a note from his host Lindsey with a goodie. He really enjoyed getting something from her.

Now I know that I promised to post pictures, and I will. I will have to get Troy to help me out with that. Then I will edit this post to include pictures. Just give me a little time to figure out what pictures to include on here!

We are back into Cub Scouts, and I didn’t realize how much I missed it until we got back into it. Both boys are busy with scouts and they love it.

All the kids are busy in school as well. This week was Red Ribbon Week (Drug Awareness) and the kids got to wear different things everyday, including getting to wear their Halloween costumes to school yesterday. They also had Halloween parties, so they came home all sugared up and wired. Gotta love those times.

Yesterday, Bryce turned 7. That’s right, my middle child had his birthday, and as a family we went to Gettitown. (It’s like a Chuck E. Cheese’s.) The kids had a blast.

Today, Ryan and Bryce did a 1-mile run at the Flowood YMCA. Bryce finished the race without ever walking (Congrats Bryce!), and Ryan placed 3rd in his age group (Congrats Ryan!). Tonight we are going to our church to have our Fall Festival/Truck-or-Treat. I will take pictures of the kids and post them at a later date.

Everyone have a blessed Halloween day!